


Again? Again.

by Annie_Noelle_R_Reddie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 27 Years Later (IT), Accurate descriptions of Maine, Angst, Carpooling, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Fix-It, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gay, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, IT Chapter Two Fix-It, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Minor Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris, Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Pining, Reddie, Sleepovers, Slow Burn, Stanley Uris Lives, lots of swearing, maine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Noelle_R_Reddie/pseuds/Annie_Noelle_R_Reddie
Summary: “Do you believe in soulmates? Or like kismet?” Eddie asked. Richie thought. He thought about how every time Eddie smiled at him, his heart sped up. He thought about how when he and Eddie would fight and not talk, he never felt more alone. He thought about how falling for Eddie didn’t feel like falling, but like sinking in honey. It felt like sinking in honey because when you’re falling for someone, it’s fast and you don’t know what’s happening and you don’t know when it will end or when you’ll finally hit the ground. Richie was sinking because he knew what was happening, he knew it would never end and he knew that even if he hit the ground, he would hit it softly. It was like sinking in honey because it was sweet, and Richie was completely in control. He thought about how Eddie made him feel like a kid again. How he still got flustered and blushed when Eddie would pay him a rare compliment. He thought about how no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get over Eddie, like they were pushed together by the universe, like they were weaved together, making it impossible for them to separate.“I don’t know. Maybe something like that, Eds.”Just another fix-it fic because Andy Muschietti broke my heart.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	1. Everlong

The knot of dread that Richie felt in his stomach soon became vomit that he was fighting to keep down. The more words that spilled out of Mike’s mouth, the harder it got to contain. 

“Mike, are you fucking crazy?” Richie hissed into the phone.

“Tomorrow, Rich. We made a promise," Mike said.

“Richie! Five minutes!” Richie’s stage manager yelled. No. This is not what Richie was supposed to do. He was supposed to get out there, say some jokes that weren't his, and make people forget about their problems for an hour and a half, not go back to where he grew up. A place that for some reason, made him sick just by the thought of it. He couldn’t go. No, he wouldn’t go because that is fucking insane. It’s fucking insane to go back to Derry fucking Maine to see his old friends from high school just because he made a promise he doesn’t remember making. The scar on his hand was burning the more Mike blabbed on about how everyone was going to be there, how everything was going to be fixed. There was no way that Richie was going back to stupid bitch ass Derry.

"I’ll be there.”

——————————

“What the fuck was that Richard?” Richie’s agent, Stevie, said once Richie came off stage. 

“You're not my dad, Stevie. Cancel the rest of my shows for the week. Give everyone refunds, free merch, I don’t fucking care!” Richie spat, racing to his dressing room so he could gather his shit and leave.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind, Richie? You've never missed a show, for anything!” Stevie barked.

“It’s a family emergency,” Richie retorted, now shoving all of his belongings into his backpack.

“Everyone in your family is dead,” Stevie pointed out. 

“Thanks for the reminder, asshat, but apparently not. So, I’m going to Maine. And if you don’t like it, you can fuck off,” Richie snapped. 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Stevie said, clearly appalled. Richie thought for a minute, saying one last thing before he left the theater.

“Your mom.”

————————

Richie decided to drive to Derry. The closer he got to his destination, the more he wanted to turn around and never come back. He hoped driving into Maine would help him remember his supposed best friends. He could barely see them in his memories, only silhouettes, only faint voices, all saying “beep beep Richie!” Whatever the fuck that means. Six boys (including him), and a girl. The girl is thin, tall, her hair short and almost curly. Her button-down dress flowed as she rode past on her bike. Two of the boys are watching her. One is tall, lanky. The other is the exact opposite, short and fat. They were both in love with the girl, Richie could vaguely remember late night conversations with the two boys. Another boy, he is broad, he moves smoothly like he’s just... comfortable. He throws back his head and laughs at Richie’s jokes. He delivered something around town to random shops, Richie remembers that at least. He was the glue that held them all together. The other one is tall, his hair is curly and he seems fragile, but he radiates goodness and kindness. The last boy. He’s brave. He’s short and small, and Richie can feel deep down that that boy drove him crazy. His stomach churned, but not with fear. His GPS said six hours. Six hours until he is back in Derry. And 4 out of 6 of those hours were spent in slow traffic. Richie turned on the radio, the song “Lady in Red” blasted from the car's speakers. He turned down the music and rolled down his window. The person in the car in front of him was smoking, the Marlboro Cigarette dangled out his window. Richie breathed in the familiar smell as he allowed his mind to wander.

...

_“You wanna smoke, Rich?” Bev said, offering a cigarette to Richie. It was the first day of 9th grade. Bev plopped next to Richie, who had been sitting against the cool brick wall outside the school, finishing up his first-day homework that many of his teachers assigned. Bev had a cigarette pressed between her smile. No one could say no to Bev, not even if they tried._

_“Uh- sure,” Richie grabbed the cigarette from Bev’s hand. Bev lit hers, then his._

_“I can’t wait to get out of here, Rich," Bev sighed._

_“What are you gonna do?” Richie asked. Bev smiled at the sky as she pondered the question._

_“I’m gonna be... a caseworker I think. I wanna help kids get out of bad situations,” Bev finally said. “Or a fashion designer. I don’t know, I kinda like...clothes.”_

_“Yeah. Maybe you can design clothes for little orphans or some shit. I could see you doing that. Then again, I can also see you doing Bill so—"_

_“Beep beep, Richie,” Bev winked. “What’re you gonna do Trashmouth? Gonna settle down? Get married? Have kids?”_

_“If I had kids you would take them away, Bev," Richie joked. “_

_You’re right, your kids would be scary,” Beverly laughed. “Seriously, Rich. You gotta have dreams somewhere in that oddly big brain of yours.”_

_“Yeah um— a prostitute maybe?” Richie cackled when Bev let out a frustrated groan. “Okay okay! I don’t know, I’ve always liked making people laugh. I could be a comedian. Do standup and SNL, all that dumb shit. Or maybe I’ll write for other comedians. Nah, ghostwriters are for pussies. A comedian. That’s what I wanna do,” Richie decided._

_“You’re gonna make a lot of people laugh one day,” Bev smiled._

_“Let’s just hope for the right reasons," Richie joked. The two sat against the wall taking puffs from their cigarettes until there was no cigarette left. The sun shone down on them as they simply waited for anything to happen._

...

“Beverly Marsh,” Richie muttered, suddenly remembering his first of six best friends. Richie felt ashamed thinking about the ghostwriter comment his younger self made, but quickly brushed it off. After all, he wasn’t a kid anymore, and he would never be a kid again. God his friends would jump on his ass if they knew. Richie soon entered Massachusetts. 4 hours until he would be back home. Home. It sounded weird, Derry being home. Nothing about Derry screamed home. People who think Maine is a gorgeous vacation state are wrong unless they go to the Bar Harbor. The most interesting thing about Maine is when you see a cannabis shop in the same building as a daycare. Richie remembered how he and the other Losers— The Losers! Yes, that’s why they were called! He remembered how they’d always despised Derry. He remembered the weird amount of pool stores on the way to Lewiston, like people in Maine swam year-round anyway. Maine wasn’t the vacation state. It was the state you went to if you needed to disappear. Who the fuck would go to Maine? You only get to see cool moose if you live in bumfuck Maine, way up north where the schoolkids get the whole month of October off to harvest fucking potatoes, and they’re basically Canadian anyways. If you got lucky, you would at least freeze underneath all the snow. God— the fucking snow. 

...

_“Remind me why we’re walking up this hill in the freezing cold?” Richie whined._

_“Why don’t you ask the sled in your hand, dipshit?” Stan retorted. The two were wrapped tightly in winter gear._

_“Touché. You know, you’re lucky you’re my friend because I wouldn’t do this bullshit for just anyone,” Richie wheezed as he finally reached the top of the steep hill. He looked down at what they would soon be sledding down, and Richie let out a groan. He fucking hated sledding, but Stan was his friend and it made Stan extremely happy when they went sledding, so Richie agreed to sled with Stan. The sun that reflected off the fresh snow was blinding. Richie used his hands to cover his eyes._

_“Fuck. These are new glasses, buddy, if I fucking break my new glasses because you wanted to fucking sled, I’ll be pissed,” Richie hissed at Stan._

_“We’re doing this because it’s our last winter break before we go off to different sides of America for college, and we met on this hill. And you promised,” Stan said. Richie rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at Stan. Stan returned the smile easily and positioned his sled._

_“Then let’s fucking do it already,” Richie said, positioning himself on his sled._

_“Alright! Three... two.... one... GO!” Stan yelled. He and Richie zoomed down the hill. They were both in hysterics as they clutched their sides from the laughter. Richie toppled off his sled and kept laughing. His glasses were still intact. He stared up, and Richie swore the sky had never been bluer. He took a second to catch his breath before laughing again._

_“That was fun, Stan! Let’s go again! I’ll race you to the top you fucking pussy. Stan-“ Stan was sitting in the snow, looking in the opposite direction. Richie walked over to him and plopped down beside him._

_“I’m— I’m gonna miss you. All of the Losers that is. You’re my best friend, Rich. You’re fucking annoying and the worst person I’ve ever met but- I’m- I guess I’m kinda… scared,” Stan confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. Richie pulled him into a tight hug, not mentioning the tears that were shining in both of their eyes._

_“Hey, we are gonna be friends forever. Even when we’re like ninety-nine and our assholes are falling out. All of us Losers will be. And Stan, I will sleep with your wife,” Richie promised._

_“Fuck you, man. My wife would never fuck you”, Stan smiled despite the tears in his eyes._

_“Yeah. Guess I’ll just have to settle for your mom. Now get up my little Jew! This hill is bigger than my wang and we are losing light my boy!”_

...

“Stanley... Uris!” Richie laughed as the memory of Stan’s Bar Mitzvah came flooding back. Stan was Richie’s best friend. He knew everything about Richie, even the fact that he was gay. “Fuck... who knows?” Richie asked himself. He had only told a handful of people about his sexuality, but what other Losers knew? “Fuck,” He whispered to himself.

“Hey, jackass! Fucking move!” The man in the car behind him honked. Richie held a middle finger out the window. 

“Fuck you asshole!” Richie screamed. The traffic had finally let up and he was making his way towards New Hampshire. Slowly but surely, the silhouettes became people, his friends. He remembered Bev and Stan, and he knew one of them must’ve been named Bill. Richie let his hand dangle out the window as he tapped along to “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters. He enjoyed the song as the summer breeze floated through his car. He missed not being in a city. He missed the fresh air and the trees and grass that wasn’t fake. Richie almost felt excited to be heading to Derry, that was until he felt the first drop of rain that fell in the palm of his hand. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” Richie yelled as he tried to roll all his windows up at once. It started to downpour. The rain beat against his windshield as the wipers tried to keep up with the sudden flood. “Bill must be fucking hating this right now...”

...

_“Bill!” Richie held his coat over his head, desperately trying to shield the rain. “Come inside! The rain is fogging up my fucking glasses," Bill just stood there. A slur of emotions ridden on his young face. Richie couldn’t tell if Bill was breathing too fast or not at all. “Bill?” Richie whispered. Bill finally looked at Richie. Though he was soaked, Richie could still tell he was crying._

_“T-this is the f-first time it’s rained since G-g-Georgie went—“ Bill cleared his throat. “Since he d-died,” He finished. Richie held the coat up so they were both barely covered._

_“Bill—“_

_“Sometimes I go to the sewer drain, a-a-and I wait for that fucking clown to come and take me with him. I want him to t-t-take me with him. I want to die, Richie. I wish I was f-f-f-f-ucking dead. My brother is fucking dead, Bev is m-m-moving soon, and eventually, we are gonna graduate and never see each other again. Fuck. Fuck Richie I just want to sit in the rain t-t-t-till I fucking drown," Bill sobbed. Richie didn’t know what to do. So he just put the jacket on the ground and sat there with Bill. “W-what are you doing?”_

_“If you’re drowning, I’ll drown with you,” Richie said, suddenly soaked by the cold rain._

_“I just miss him,” Bill whispered._

_“I know, Bill,” he and Bill sat there for hours, just letting their clothes clutch to their bodies as they shivered._

_“I’m ready to go inside. Thank you, Richie,” Bill said._

_“Anytime,” Richie smiled. Richie had a runny nose for a week after that, but he didn’t care._

...

“Bill,” Richie whispered to no one. The highway seemed suddenly empty, and the rain let up. Soon enough, the sun was shining again. A rainbow stretched across the blue sky, causing Richie to smile like the gay idiot he was. “Ironic.” He whispered. “FUCK” Richie screamed, slamming on the breaks. The deer leaped across the road before disappearing into the forest. Richie sat for a moment, desperately trying to catch his breath.

...

_“Richie! Come look at this!” Mike whispered. Richie climbed up the ladder to their underground clubhouse._

_“What do you want?” Richie groaned._

_“Look.” Mike smiled. There stood three deer. A buck, a doe, and their fawn._

_“Cool?” Richie said. Suddenly, a shot rang out causing both boys to fall. The buck ran away, a trail of blood following its path. A man and a young boy stood there cheering. The mother and fawn ran away as well._

_“Why would you do that!” Mike screamed._

_“Mikey—“_

_“No! That animal was doing no harm, you had no right!” Mike yelled at the man and the child._

_“Listen, boy, you better stay in line. You don’t fucking belong in this town. People of your... background deserve to fucking rot.” The man spat on the ground before pulling the child along with him to find their buck._

_“Mikey- are you alright?” Richie asked._

_“They talk to me like I want to be anywhere near Derry anyway. I’m getting away from here as soon as possible. I’m gonna go to Florida, never see Derry again in my life,” Mike scowled._

_“Hey, Mike. I know I’m like a twig, but I will beat anyone’s ass if they try to pick on you. I promise,” Richie said._

_“You’re a good friend, Rich. I’m so glad I found you guys,” Mike smiled._

_“I bet that buck was a dick anyway. Probably cheated on Bambi’s mom.”_

... 

“So that’s who you are.” Richie suddenly felt bad that Mike, indeed, stayed in Derry. “Fuck... how long have I been in New Hampshire.” Richie’s GPS said that he would be in Maine in ten minutes. Nerves suddenly overtook his body. He still has two more Losers he needs to remember. Richie decided to switch through the radio stations for a bit, desperately trying to spark any type of memory. He stopped switching when he heard the opening chords to “Please Don’t Go Girl”. 

...

_“There’s no fucking way!” Richie laughed. Ben made the grave mistake of leaving Richie alone in his room, not thinking he would go through all his shit. New Kids on the Block merchandise was shoved under Ben’s bed. Every album, every T-shirt, every poster._

_“Shit! Richie, please don’t tell the others!” Ben pleaded._

_“You’re not seriously asking me to do that are you? Do you know who I am, Benny Boo? It’s my job to make my friends miserable!" Richie exclaimed._

_“Here! Just listen to this song," Ben said turning on his stereo. “Please Don’t Go Girl” started playing. Richie couldn’t help but tap his foot along with the beat. The song faded out. “You like it?” Ben asked. Richie couldn’t help but smile._

_“Can you play it again?” Richie asked. The two played it on repeat until Richie knew every single word and was dancing around Ben’s room._

_“So you won’t tell the others?” Ben asked._

_“Tell the others that my best buddy Ben has amazing music taste? Nah I won’t.” Richie laughed, spinning around the room. He and Ben listened to all of their songs 3 times before Richie had to leave his house. He hummed the songs all the way home._

...

“Please don’t go, girl!” Richie belted, completely off-key. In the distance, he saw the green bridge that separated New Hampshire from Maine. He held his breath as he crossed the bridge, his knuckles going white as he gripped onto the steering wheel like a lifeline. He remembered how his mother always told him how he would have to jump the gap because the bridge was going to open up to let the boats pass under. After crossing the border, Richie saw the welcome sign. “Welcome home. The Way Life Should Be.” He was surprised to feel a tear streak down his cheek as a certain weight fixated itself in his chest. The bright green trees lining the highway, the fresh air, the sheer beauty of the place. Richie almost missed it. Almost. 

He spent the rest of the car ride trying to figure out who the final loser was. The brave one. He kept drawing blanks. Other memories of his family and other friends flooded back now that he was in the pine tree state. He decided he would just have to figure out who the other loser was when they all met at the restaurant. 

—.— 

Richie walked into his room. Everything was oddly a cigarette yellow. He fell back onto the uncomfortable bed and somehow slept. In fact, he overslept. He woke up five minutes before they were supposed to meet. Richie threw on his clothes and brushed his teeth painfully fast and sped to the restaurant.

—.—

When Richie pulled up, he saw Ben and Bev hugging. He was suddenly excited to see his friends. And Jesus Christ Ben had gotten hot. 

“Ben and fucking Bev! How have you guys been!” Richie said walking up to the two. 

“Trashmouth!” Bev yelled, pulling Richie into a tight hug. 

“Richie,” Ben smiled. “Where’d you go girl?” Richie threw his head back and laughed.

“Fuck you man! I was hoping you’d forget that,” Richie said. 

“God. You guys are still fucking losers,” Bev smiled fondly, taking both Richie and Ben’s hand. They all walked in together, looking like an odd thrupple, which Richie obviously pointed out. 

“Reservation for the Losers,” Bev said to the hostess. 

“You must be the last of the bunch, they’re in that room right over there,” The hostess said. 

“Namaste,” Ben said. 

“She’s Chinese, not Indian you dumbass,” Richie cackled.

“Let’s go, you two,” Beverly sighed. Richie noticed the gong and the mallet before he entered the room. 

“This meeting of the losers club has officially-“ Richie stopped. There was the final loser. Short, thin, his brown eyes smiling at Richie. He remembered immediately. 

...

_Richie and Eddie sat on top of Richie’s car. The radio played “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. The two laid back, basking in the silence underneath the stars. Eddie suddenly shifted, so his head was lying on Richie’s chest._

_“Richie?” Eddie said up to the stars._

_“Yeah?” Richie whispered, trying desperately not to let his voice falter._

_“Do you believe in soulmates? Or like kismet?” Eddie asked. Richie thought. He thought about how every time Eddie smiled at him, his heart sped up. He thought about how when he and Eddie would fight and not talk, he never felt more alone. He thought about how falling for Eddie didn’t feel like falling, but like sinking in honey. It felt like sinking in honey because when you’re falling for someone, it’s fast and you don’t know what’s happening and you don’t know when it will end or when you’ll finally hit the ground. Richie was sinking because he knew what was happening, he knew it would never end and he knew that even if he hit the ground, he would hit it softly. It was like sinking in honey because it was sweet, and Richie was completely in control. He thought about how Eddie made him feel like a kid again. How he still got flustered and blushed when Eddie would pay him a rare compliment. He thought about how no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get over Eddie, like they were pushed together by the universe, like they were weaved together, making it impossible for them to separate._

_“I don’t know," He didn’t think about how he was so in love with his best friend. “Maybe something like that, Eds.”_

...

“—Eds.” Richie smiled. 

“Don’t call me Eds you asshole,” Eddie said, but he was grinning. And Richie began to sink all over again.


	2. Songs We Fall Asleep To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Forgetting everyone. Forgetting you. I-I hate myself for it. I always felt like a part of me was missing. There was like this gaping hole in my chest that needed to be filled by something. And I walked into that restaurant and saw everyone, and I felt whole for the first time in twenty years. I saw your stupid bitchass face and everything was right again in this world. So we’re going to be okay. We really are,” Richie said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Everything was too surreal. There they stood, just smiling at each other. In a moment, Richie was starting to remember so many things from his childhood. Maybe because that was his childhood, trying not to stutter or falter while making shitty jokes trying to impress Eddie. It felt like—

“Let’s sit,” Mike interrupted Richie’s thoughts, gesturing to the table. The other Losers nodded and sat down. Richie and Eddie sat together, Stan’s chair between them.

“What can I get for you all?” The waitress asked. Mike ordered different appetizers for everyone to share. “Anything else?” 

“Shots. Like- a lot of shots,” Richie piped up. The waitress nodded and left the room.

“I see you’re still a raging alcoholic,” Eddie quipped.

“I see you’re still recovering from that party in 10th grade,” Richie shot back, the memory suddenly back. Eddie was silent for a moment, before remembering it himself.

“Oh god! Why did you have to bring that up? I’m getting a hangover just thinking about it,” Eddie laughed. 

Being back with the Losers was everything. Though they all parted ways years ago, they were able to pick things up right where they left off. Ben was swooning over Bev, while Bill and Mike were back with their lingering touches, soft smiles on their faces. Bev and Richie were having their own mini dance party, while Eddie pointed out how dangerous everything was. Richie felt like himself for the first time in 40 years. Hearing Ben cackle from across the table at one of Richie’s jokes felt like they were back at the quarry, drinking shitty beer Bill had stolen from his dad. Seeing Bev smiling at Ben reminded him of their nights at the drive-in, all seven of them piled into Richie’s mom’s van. It almost felt like-

“Richie! Can you still do the trick? With the shot glass.” Bev asked. Richie rubbed his hands together before putting them behind his back. He stood up before picking up the shot glass with his teeth and shooting it back. The entire group cheered as Richie bowed and sat back in his chair. Well, the entire group except for Eddie.

“It’s not that impressive...” Eddie muttered. Richie couldn’t help but smirk at the remark. 

“Really, Eds? Go on! Give it a try!” Richie beckoned. 

“Myra doesn’t like it when I drink,” Eddie said sheepishly. Richie’s stomach turned into a pit. 

“Who’s Myra?” Richie asked, praying he said anything but “my wife”.

“My wife,” Eddie muttered. Richie’s heart dropped.

“Really? You got married?” Richie tried to keep his voice even. 

“Yeah, Rich. I did,” Eddie looked Richie dead in the eye. He looked hollow. Richie realized the other Losers were silent, just watching them. Eddie’s tone of voice made Richie worry, maybe he remembered something Richie didn’t. Ben cleared his throat from across the table

“What, to like a woman?” Richie quickly recovered. Laughter erupted from around the table, Richie and Eddie hadn’t broken eye contact. 

“Fuck you,” Eddie said, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. 

“Wait! How many of you fuckers got married?” Ben asked. Bill, Bev, and Eddie all awkwardly raised their hands, almost like they were ashamed. Richie shot his hand up, begging for Eddie to ask who. 

“No WAY Richie got married!” Bev wheezed.

“Put your hand down, Richie,” Eddie laughed before taking a shot. Richie smiled.

“What? I got married. I’ve been married for twelve years now!” Richie said.

“Really?” Ben asked.

“Wow you dicks, don’t sound so fucking shocked. I have three kids,” He defended himself.

“What are their names?” Bill asked. 

“Wow. You really don’t believe me? Fuck you guys, their names are Margo, Emily, and Charlie,” Richie said the first three names he could think of. 

“I still don’t believe you,” Mike laughed. 

“I’m fucking married!” Richie exclaimed, almost offended that no one believed him.

“To who?” Eddie asked. Richie could barely contain his excitement. 

“She seriously didn’t tell you?” Richie smiled. 

“No,” Eddie said. Richie saw as Eddie’s eyes widened, realizing what Richie was about to say.

“Yeah, no- your mother and I are very happy,” Richie said. The entire table erupted in laughter again, and even Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Alright tough guy! Let’s go,” Eddie placed his elbow on the table. Arm wrestling. Richie could remember his teen years, challenging Eddie to countless arm wrestling tournaments just for the excuse to hold his hand. 

“Really, Eds? You want to arm wrestle?” Richie teased.

“Right now!” Eddie laughed. Richie reluctantly put his elbow on the table. Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand. Richie ignored how the contact sent shocks throughout his body. 

“3...2...1... GO!” 

...

_ The weight barely rose off the ground.  _

_ “Better luck next time!” The man running the game said.  _

_ “I told you. You’re just too weak Eds,” Richie laughed. Eddie was practically stomping towards the Ferris wheel. It had become a tradition that the Losers went to the fair together every year. And every year, Eddie would pussy out of going on the Ferris wheel, but this year he was determined.  _

_ “I’ll have you know I’m probably way stronger than you,” Eddie shot back.  _

_ “Is that a bet?” Richie asked.  _

_ “No. Let’s go to the Ferris wheel,” Eddie stomped away faster.  _

_ “Nonono. Eddie spaghetti just challenged me. Come, my companion!” Richie pulled Eddie back to the Strong Man booth at the fair.  _

_ “Richie you really don’t have to do this,” Eddie tried to say, but Richie ignored him.  _

_ “Step right up!” The vendor said, Richie paid and grabbed the large mallet. With one brisk swing, he sent the weight up enough to win a small prize.  _

_ “Yes!” Richie cheered.  _

_ “You can have any of these prizes,” Richie scanned the row before breaking into a smile. _

_ “Don’t you fucking dare get the teddy-“ _

_ “I want the teddy bear for Eds,” Richie said. Eddie sighed but accepted the small teddy bear.  _

_ “What’re you gonna name it?” Richie asked, pointing at the bear.  _

_ “I’m not going to name this stupid bear you won,” Eddie hissed at him. _

_ “Sure,” Richie laughed. The two stood in line for the Ferris wheel. Richie noticed that Eddie turned a little more green every time they moved forward in line. “You sure you wanna go on this Eds? We can go on the train again if you want. I wanna throw some popcorn at kids anyway,” Richie suggested, but Eddie just shook his head. _

_ “No. I- I want to go on the Ferris wheel. I need to go on,” Eddie said firmly. They finally made it to the front. They slid into the seat and soon enough they were moving up. “Ohgodohgodohgodohgod,” Eddie said under his breath.  _

_ “Oh my GOD Eds, CHILL!” Richie laughed. Eddie turned his head so he was staring at Richie.  _

_ “I want to get off,” Eddie whispered. _

_ “Okay. You’ll have to jump, though,” Richie joked. Eddie started breathing rapidly. He fumbled for his inhaler but dropped it over the edge. _

_ “Fuck! Fuck Richie! I need to get off!” Eddie cried.  _

_ “Eddie, don’t look down, look up, count the stars or some shit,” Richie said. Eddie nodded and looked up a little too fast, causing the cart to swing back a bit. _

_ “Jesusimgonnafuckingdieuphereohgodididntgettosaygoodbye—” Eddie stopped talking when Richie grabbed his hand.  _

_ “Look at the stars, slowly this time,” Richie whispered. Eddie clutched onto the teddy bear and looked up. Richie didn’t let go of his hand, not until they were safely off the ride.  _

_ “Thanks, Rich. Sorry, I'm such a pussy,” Eddie said once they were on the ground. _

_ “I don’t know, you seemed pretty brave to me just then,” Richie smiled. _

...

Richie used all the strength he had trying to push Eddie’s arm down, but it didn’t budge one bit. 

“You’ve gotten stronger,” Richie grinned, still fighting to win. 

“Or you’ve gotten weaker?” Eddie retorted. They both maintained the fight, neither arm budged.

“We have all night, Eds, what shall we do while I wait for you to give up?” Richie taunted. 

“Let’s take off our shirts and kiss!” Eddie cheered. Richie’s arm immediately went limp. Eddie pinned it down on the table and let out a whoop. The other Losers clapped for him while Richie tried to hide his embarrassment.

“I still beat you during the strong man competition at the fair!” Richie called out. 

“That’s where the bear came from! I still have it,” Eddie remembered.

“You do?”

“Yeah. His name is Poubelle. Now I know where I got him,” Eddie winked. 

“Trash Can in French,” Bev burst out laughing

“That’s almost sweet, Eds,” Richie cooed. 

“It’s not that sweet,” Eddie muttered, jabbing Richie with his elbow. 

“Alright! Where is Stan?” Ben finally asked. The room was silent.

“Stan Urine... he was a pussy he’s not gonna- he was too scared. I mean I fucking threw up when Mike called me,” Richie said.

“I crashed my car,” Eddie admitted.

“I started breathing really fast…” Ben whispered.

“Wow, Ben. Heartbreaking. Your heart was beating! Did you not hear the car crash part?” Eddie shot back.

“I was just full of f-f-f…” 

“Fear.” Mike finished. “It’s back,”

—.—

“I’m fucking leaving!” Richie yelled once in the parking lot.

“Richie-”

“No, Mike. We just got fucking attacked by fucking fortune cookie creatures, my publicist is gonna kill me for yelling at that kid and-”

“Guys,” Bev yelled, phone in hand. Tears were streaming down her face. They all immediately went silent. “I just got off the phone with Patty. Stan tried to kill himself last night. He’s alive but he cut really deep and-” Bev broke down crying. 

“Fuck this,” Richie wiped the tears that were already forming in his eyes. Bev came over and pulled Richie into a hug. 

“I know. This sucks,” Bev whispered.

“I’m with Richie. This is so fucking wrong Mike. I mean- it’s just mean, Mike,” Eddie said, walking to where Richie was standing with Bev. Eddie walked over to where Richie was standing, he grabbed Richie’s hand and squeezed it three times. Richie squeezed it back twice. Richie wiped his tears quickly.  
“Yeah- fuck. Stan almost died,” Richie choked out. 

“Mikey... they’re right,” Ben said, also walking away. Eventually, only Bill and Mike were in the parking lot. Richie started walking to his car, Eddie following. Richie lit a cigarette and sat on the curb. 

“You know how fucking unhealthy those are, Richie. Every cigarette takes seven-”

“Yeah, Eds, I know. But I just- I don’t know. I don’t even smoke, usually. But the minute I crossed the border into Maine, I was craving them. I feel like I’m fucking regressing...” Richie said bitterly.

“I just called in a prescription for an inhaler. I-I haven’t used one since we were 12. But I got to Maine and- this is so fucked up man,” Eddie admitted. He started to pace back and forth, and Richie could tell Eddie was working himself up to a panic attack. 

“Eds, heyheyheyhey, come sit with me, Eds. Come on. I promise I won’t blow it in your face, I swear,” Richie tried to use the smoothest tone possible, pulling Eddie down. 

“Don’t talk to me like I’m some fucking five-year-old, you asshole,” Eddie muttered, taking a seat next to Richie. 

“We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna get the hell out of here and maybe try to stay in touch this time. We’re not going to forget each other. And we’re going to be okay. Okay?” Eddie didn’t respond, just scooching closer to Richie until their sides were pressed together, knees knocking. “Forgetting everyone. Forgetting  _ you _ . I-I hate myself for it. I always felt like a part of me was missing. There was like this gaping hole in my chest that needed to be filled by something. And I walked into that restaurant and saw everyone, and I felt whole for the first time in twenty years. I saw your stupid bitchass face and everything was right again in this world. So we’re going to be okay. We really are,” Richie said, his voice barely above a whisper. Eddie looked at Richie, a sad smile on his face. 

“God I forgot how much of a pussy you are. You’ve always watched way too many romcoms,” he deadpanned. Richie chuckled but otherwise stayed silent. “I don’t want to forget again either. I don’t want to forget you,” There was nothing more to be said. The two sat on the curb, simply enjoying the silence before having to drive all the way home. Richie stood after he finished the cigarette.

“Well, I’ll see you at the hotel,” Richie said while stretching. Before he could take a few steps, Eddie called out for him.

“Hey! Uh-Richie can you give me a ride back to the hotel? I walked here,” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, of course.” Richie smiled, putting out his cigarette. 

—.—

“You were the only Loser I couldn’t remember,” Richie confessed, driving to the hotel. 

“Maybe I’m the one you most wanted to forget?” Eddie offered dryly.

“Maybe. You are pretty fucking annoying,” Richie joked.

“Fuck you, Trashmouth,” Eddie berated him.

“You’re annoying, but the type of annoying people miss, ya know?” Richie could feel Eddie smiling from the passenger seat.

“Pussy,” Eddie whispered. “I missed you too,”

“I never said I missed you,” Richie denied.

“Literally 15 minutes ago you said seeing me made you feel complete for the first time in 20 years, but whatever,” Richie smiled at Eddie in the passenger seat. Fuck he really missed him. He missed everything about him, even the really annoying parts. Eddie smiled back. He smiled back and it made Richie’s heart soar. 

“We’re here,” Richie said, parking the car.

“Thank god. Let’s get out of this town. And uh- Richie?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, Eds?” Richie responded.

“Promise we won’t forget each other?” Eddie asked, suddenly feeling like a scared little kid again.

“I promise, Eds. I promise,”

—.—

Lucky for Richie, he didn’t have much to pack because he barely unpacked. He threw everything into the suitcase, and of course, he stole the Bible inside the nightstand. 

“Tell me, Bev,” Richie heard Ben say as he crept down the stairs.

“Will you bitches hurry up, come on Eduardo!” Richie yelled. 

“I’ve seen every one of us die,” Bev cried. Richie let out a groan.

“Coming!” Eddie hollered, carrying two giant suitcases down the stairs.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Richie sighed. 

“What? Better safe than sorry!” Eddie defended.

“Not you, dipshit. Sabrina the Teenage Witch over here just dropped that she’s seen all of us die some horrible death if we don’t kill Pennywise,” Richie explained as he walked behind the bar to make himself a drink. 

“Jesus Christ. Rich, pour me a shot.” Eddie muttered, feeling utterly defeated. Ben led Bev into a small room across from the bar, he could make out gentle sobs from Beverley. Richie downed his drink before pouring two shots. He and Eddie both threw them back. Eddie grimaced whereas Richie’s face didn’t move a muscle. Richie had a high tolerance, but he was starting to feel the familiar buzz in his chest.

“God I haven’t drunk in so fucking long,” Eddie sighed. 

“Since 10th grade?” Richie said, downing another shot.

“No, jackass. Since freshman year of college,” Eddie admitted.

“Jesus, Eds. Might want to take it slow,” Richie warned him, watching Eddie down another shot.

“Fuck that,” Eddie laughed. “This isn’t high school anymore, and apparently my friend has watched me die!”

...

_ “Shit! Bill, have you seen Eddie?” Richie yelled over the loud music.  _

_ “Nope!” Bill said, dancing with a random girl.  _

_ “Ew gross. Fuck!” Richie looked around the large house trying to find Eddie. He knew he shouldn’t have let Eddie wander the house alone during his first party, but Richie got distracted by the chip assortment. “Eddie!” Richie yelled, no response. _

_ “Richie! You gotta come see this man!” Stan said, pulling Richie to the giant living room. There Eddie stood, in his short-shorts, and a half-empty bottle of vodka in his hand. _

_ “I, Edward Kaspbrak, have an announcement to make! I am so fucking wasted, I currently can’t see four feet past me. If I put on those drunk goggles from drivers ed, will it cancel out my drunk and make me sober? That’s the question. Where the fuck is Richie?” Eddie yelled. Richie pushed through the crowd and grabbed Eddie’s hand.  _

_ “Jesus Christ, Eddie, let go,” Richie said. _

_ “Fuck no! Let’s stay!” Eddie screamed.  _

_ “Eddie, you’re gonna get yourself killed, we’re Losers remember? Come on, you can stay at my house,” Richie somehow managed to get Eddie out of the house, despite him fighting back.  _

_ “Fuck you dude. I was having fun. I drank so much vodka. Guess what? I’m a lightweight. And guess what? I hate you sometimes but you’re my friend and you’re pretty so,” Eddie’s arm was draped over Richie’s shoulder. _

_ “Thanks, Eds,” Richie laughed. _

_ “Don’t fucking call me Eds,” Eddie shouted. Richie dragged Eddie all the way to his house. _

_ “I can’t make it, Richie. Leave me here to rot!” Eddie sobbed. _

_ “We are on my front porch, Eds. And I wouldn’t let you die, not if I could help it,” Richie whispered. “Okay we’re about to go inside, so we have to be quiet or else my parents will kill both of us,”  _

_ “You got it. I will be SILENT!” Eddie yelled, causing Richie’s dog to bark.  _

_ “Okay, good one asshole. Follow my lead— Hi mom!” Richie said.  _

_ “Jesus Christ. What happened to him?” Richie’s mom whispered. _

_ “Somebody spiked his drink. Eddie would never drink willingly, right Eds?” Richie asked.  _

_ “Fuck no. Drinking is bad,” Eddie said. _

_“Ohmyfuckinggod— If his mom sees him like this, she will literally murder him and or put him in a hazmat suit-”_ _  
_ _“That’s true! She’s done it before when she thought I got the plague, but it was JUST A RASH!” Eddie screamed._

_ “Will you be quiet? Anyway, can he just stay here tonight?” Richie pleaded.  _

_ “Get water into him. Come on in,” Richie’s mom opened the door and helped Richie bring Eddie upstairs. _

_ “Thank you, Mrs. Tozier, you’re wonderful,” Eddie yawned. _

_ “Goodnight boys,”  _

_ “Goodnight!” As soon as Richie’s mom shut the door, Eddie fell onto Richie, pushing him onto the bed.  _

_ “Jesus—okay,” Eddie fell asleep as soon as he and Richie fell onto the bed. Although Richie was extremely uncomfortable, he didn’t move all that night. _

_ —.— _

“You’re right, if this was high school, you’d be passed out by now,” Richie chuckled. 

“So there’s nothing we can do?” Ben said from the other room across from the bar. 

“There’s nothing we can do,” Bill said, entering the room with Mike.

“Jesus fucking Chr- so what’s the deal, can I zoom off please?” Richie whined. Mike and Bill both explained The Ritual of Chud to the rest of the Losers. 

“You fucking roofied Bill?” Eddie asked.

“For the record, I will only be referring to the ritual as  _ The Ritual of Chode  _ from here on out,” Richie said

“Yes- that’s beside the point. Whatever, Richie. This is the only way to stop Pennywise. And if we don’t-”

“We all die,” Bev choked out.

“But- Stanley he tried to kill himself-“

“He was the weakest,” Richie deadpanned. 

“What the fuck, Richie,” Ben scoffed.

“What? Don’t get mad because I was the one who could actually say it,” Richie downed another shot. 

“We have to stay,” Eddie whispered. And Richie knew, if Eddie stayed, he would stay. The Losers all put their hands into a small circle. Richie glared at all of them. “Rich,” Eddie whispered. 

“Fuck you all, what do we have to do?” Richie caved.

“Get a lot of sleep, we have a lot of work to do tomorrow,” Mike said. 

“Great...” Richie huffed, already walking to his room. He unlocked the door and fell onto his bed. This was not how he expected his sudden trip home to go. Finding out they had to kill an alien-clown, finding out his best friend tried to kill himself and falling for Eddie all over again. Right on cue, there was a knock at the door. Of course, it was Eddie. He stood there, a T-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms, holding two cans of beer.

“I’m coming in,” Eddie announced, pushing past Richie.

“Wasn’t gonna stop you,” Richie said, sitting on the bed next to Eddie.

“This is fucking insane. Everything is,” Eddie whispered.

“I know, they don’t even have channel 6 news on these fucking TVs,” Richie sighed.

“Not that, asshole,” Eddie laughed. 

“I hope Stan makes it. He’s a pussy but… he was genuine and smart. I think he can make it,” Richie took one beer from Eddie and opened it. “Cheers, to the two biggest losers in the Loser club,” Eddie smiled and cheers’d with Richie. 

“You think we can beat It? Like for good this time?” Eddie asked. 

“We did it when we were kids. Hell, you did it with a broken arm,” Richie smiled.

“Still. I should’ve never come back,” Eddie grumbled.

“You heard Bev, we would’ve fucking died if we didn’t kill this bitch,” Richie said.

“And if we die trying?” Eddie asked.

“Then we die trying,” Richie replied. Eddie let his back fall onto the bed. 

“Fuck Derry,” He groaned.

“Fuck Derry,” Richie agreed. 

—.—

_ “Fuck Derry,” Richie said to himself while gathering cinder blocks so he could crawl into Eddie’s window.  _

_ “Just come around the front dumbass, my mom is fast asleep,” Eddie hissed.  _

_ “Your mom isn’t fast at anything. In fact, she is exceptionally slow at most things, including-” _

_ “Shut the fuck up Richie. Grab my hand, I’ll pull you in,” Eddie whispered. Richie grabbed onto Eddie’s hand and climbed through the window.  _

_ “Jesus Christ, it looks like Buckingham palace in here!” Richie laughed. Eddie’s room was spotless. Not a single surface contained a speck of dust.  _

_ “Yeah, I know. Take off your shoes, I don’t want you tracking mud through my room,” Eddie snapped.  _

_ “Fine, your majesty. So, I brought some fun treats,” Richie took off his shoes before joining Eddie on his bed. He pulled soda and chips out of his bag. “Tada!” Eddie gave Richie a sad smile. _

_ “It’s the thought that counts,” Eddie joked. _

_ “I will climb out that window right now, Eds,” Richie warned.  _

_ “Shut up,” Eddie laughed. Richie laid down next to Eddie, their hands dangerously close. _

_ “Can I tell you something?” Richie whispered to the ceiling. _

_ “Yeah,” Eddie said. _

_ “I was fucking terrified today. I really thought we were gonna… end up like Georgie,” Richie said. Eddie begged Richie to stay the night they defeated Pennywise, scared he was going to wake up screaming.  _

_ “But- you seemed so-“ _

_ “Yeah. I try to seem brave but I’m kind of a pussy,” Richie chuckled.  _

_ “I think you’re brave,” Eddie whispered. Richie felt Eddie’s fingers brush against his.  _

_ “You were brave today too. Not facing Pennywise, but facing your mom,” Richie said rolling over on his side.  _

_ “Fuck you,” Eddie laughed, rolling over to face Richie. Richie was suddenly aware of how close they really were. The tips of their noses were almost touching, their knees were pressed against each other, and at some point, Eddie fully grabbed Richie’s hand. “I’m glad we made it out,” Eddie smiled. _

_ “Me too,” Richie whispered. Eddie pulled Richie into a tight hug.  _

_ “I’m not going to let go,” Eddie whispered. _

_ “That’s fine.”  _

—.—

Soon enough, the two were under the covers, having a sleepover.

“Remember the stool you built so I could get in and out of your window easier?” Richie asked.

“Yeah! And you broke it trying to do a kickflip on it,” Eddie laughed.

“We had fun,” Richie smiled.

“Who are we kidding? We still do,” Eddie said. 

“Goodnight, Eds,” Richie whispered.

“Don’t call me Eds you asshole,” Eddie smiled. “Goodnight.” 

Richie blamed the burning in his chest on the whiskey. But he knew his chest was burning because Eddie’s head was laying on top of it. He didn’t like how good Eddie made him feel. Until he saw Eddie, Derry felt like any other place. But now it sort of felt like...

It felt like home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Chapter three will be out soon! Make sure to chime off in the comments! LOVE AND SUPPORT!


	3. Fool's Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie had never been a morning person. He often went to bed at 3 AM and woke up at noon. He would waste the day away, then do a show at night. He’d get greasy fast food after the show, (Often McDonald's but sometimes In and Out would claim his heart) and drink or smoke while watching reruns of Friends, missing something. Then he would repeat the cycle, just wasting his days away. But this morning, waking up next to Eddie, Richie didn’t want to miss a single moment. He couldn’t help but look at Eddie, still shocked he could ever forget him. That he never stopped loving him.

Richie had never been a morning person. He often went to bed at 3 AM and woke up at noon. He would waste the day away, then do a show at night. He’d get greasy fast food after the show, (Often McDonald's but sometimes In and Out would claim his heart) and drink or smoke while watching reruns of Friends, missing something. Then he would repeat the cycle, just wasting his days away. But this morning, waking up next to Eddie, Richie didn’t want to miss a single moment. He couldn’t help but look at Eddie, still shocked he could ever forget him. That he never stopped loving him.

“Watching me sleep, Rich? A little creepy,” Eddie grumbled as he woke up.

“You’re just so ugly, I can’t believe I forgot,” Richie quipped.

“What time is it?” Eddie asked while sitting up. His T-shirt collar was stretched out, revealing the top of his chest. There it was, plain as day, a tattoo of a star on his left.

“Holy shit. No fucking way. Eds, do you have a TATTOO?” Richie exclaimed in disbelief.

“Oh just you wait,” Eddie quickly pulled down his shirt, revealing another star tattoo, on the other side of his chest.

“Eddie fucking Kaspbrak got not one, but two tattoos?” Richie laughed. 

“My friend had a friend who was an up and coming tattoo artist. He needed some people to practice on, so I let him at me,” Eddie explained.

“You’re telling me you bitched at me about AIDS for basically our whole childhood, and then you let some random man come at you with a needle like that?!” Richie laughed.

“Granted, it was my sophomore year in college and I was pretty fucking wasted. And one Saturday the tattoo guy came over to the frat-” Richie’s mouth hit the floor.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Richie whispered.

“The tattoo guy came over to the frat house...”

“No fucking way you were a frat boy.”

“I was a frat boy,” Eddie giggled.

“How? Frat houses were fucking filthy!”

“They loved me there, I cleaned everything. We had the cleanest frat house and the best parties. Then I met Myra...” Eddie faltered. “She was in one of my boring finance classes. We were kinda friends I guess. She started nagging me, she was protective. And what can I say, I play it safe. She brought me back down from that frat boy high I was living. And some time along the line I married her,” Eddie confessed.

“I still feel like they’re fake,” Richie said, breaking the tension. 

“They’re real, asshole! Feel!” Eddie took Richie’s hand and placed it over his tattoo. Everything stopped for a second, and Richie was either about to throw up, pass out, or both. “You got any? Tattoos?” Eddie asked. Richie pulled himself out of his trance. 

“You’re gonna be so pissed,” Richie said giddily, sitting up next to Eddie. 

“Show me,” Eddie demanded. Richie freed his left arm from his shirt to reveal “mom” tattooed inside of a heart. “You’re fucking kidding!” 

“I was wasted one night after a show and made the mistake of going to a tattoo studio bar thing. I woke up in my apartment the next morning with this bad boy. My mom was surprisingly pissed, despite it being dedicated to her,” Richie said. Eddie sat in silence, a small smile on his face.

“That’s-” Eddie paused, he finally let himself smile. “That explains so much about you.” They basked in the silence for a few more moments, dreading the inevitable start of their day. Richie shot up when someone started banging on the door.

“Coming!” Richie yelled. Eddie slowly got up and followed him.

“Morning! Oh cool, are you guys rooming together?” Bev pushed past Richie as soon as he opened the door. 

“I-uh-” Eddie started, but Bev already had seen the one bed in the room. 

“Wow. You’re already getting started. Love that for you two,” Bev tried to hold back her laughter. 

“It’s really nothing-“

“Um- Mike’s meeting us here at 7:30. He said we’re going ‘somewhere special’ whatever the fuck that means. So...” Bev said. 

“It’s not what it-”

“Get ready!” Bev sang, already leaving the room. Eddie and Richie both stared at the closed door for a few moments. 

“I should-uh- shower. Get ready for the big day, ya know?” Eddie said, already grabbing his things.

“Oh, uh- yeah me too. Um- see you down there? Yeah, see you down there,” Richie chuckled. 

-.-

  
  
  


___

After going to the clubhouse, being sent their separate ways, getting his token, and having a run-in with his favorite clown, Richie was walking down the street, fighting back tears. He had nearly forgotten how much Pennywise fucking sucked. The song he was singing kept playing in his head:  _ “I know your secret, your dirty little secret.”  _ Richie sighed and walked away faster. “I’m okay. I’m alright. I’m gonna be okay- watch the fuck out!” 

“Richie?”

“Ew! Jesus Christ, Eds,” Richie gagged. Eddie was covered in a shit brown goo.

“Got my fucking token,” Eddie spat.

“Me too,” Richie sighed. 

“You look fucking fine! Look at me I-I’m covered in… in SHIT,” Eddie seethed.

“Believe me, I’m only fine on the outside,” Richie said. “You wanna get ice cream?” 

“No. Richie. I’m covered in shit. I don’t want fucking ice cream,” Eddie exclaimed. Richie stood there awkwardly for a few moments. 

“Can you come with me while I go get ice cream, and then I’ll give you a lift back to the Inn?” Richie asked. Eddie glared at Richie.

“Fine. But I’m staying in the car. And you have five minutes to get that fucking ice cream. You’re lucky I just want to be back at the Inn more than anything,” Eddie said.

“That’s fine by me, I don’t want to be seen with you anyway. You look like you’ve been swimming in the sewers again.” 

“You’re fucking impossible, you know that right?” Eddie asked.

“Oh Eddie Spaghetti, you know you love me,” Richie said, slinging an arm around Eddie’s slimy shoulders. 

“Shut up.” 

-.-

“You didn’t have to pay,” Eddie said as Richie handed him his gluten, dairy, and soy-free vanilla ice cream. Richie struggled to turn the key with his own Mint-Chocolate chip ice cream cone. “Okay did you really have to get a cone though? They’re so messy, and it’s dangerous to drive while eating. Did you know that Maine added a law that you have to have both hands on the wheel? I’m just warning you. When we get pulled over don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Eddie told him.

“We’ll just say we’re from out of state. I think my license plate will explain that” Finally, Richie got the car started. They started to drive to the Inn in silence. Richie couldn’t ignore the scared look on Eddie’s face. “Are you okay?” 

“I-I saw myself when I was younger. I was in the basement of the pharmacy and I saw my mom-”

“Probably buying me those XXL condoms I asked for,” Richie said. Eddie just stared at him incredulously.

“Anyways, there was a monster on a chain and it was trying to kill her. And she was all tied up-” Richie prepared to make another comment about how he tied up Eddie’s mom. “Shut your mouth.” Richie tried to hold back his laughter. “And she was begging me to set her free but I couldn’t, and the monster kept getting closer and closer and-” Eddie paused. “It got her, Richie. I watched It kill my mother and then It puked all over me,” Eddie finished. “So, what did you see?”

“I, uh... nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” Richie said shortly.

“Hey. I know what you saw was pretty scary but we’re in this together and- ” Eddie said gently. 

“Eds I really-”

“Talk to me-”

“I really don’t want-”

“I’m here for you-”

“I know that, and this-”

“Come on, Rich-”

“Isn’t anything against you, I just-”

“It’s alright-”

“I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!  _ God _ ! I can see you’re as nosy as ever. Just leave me the fuck alone, Eddie,” Richie exploded. He pulled the car over, they were barely three minutes from the Inn now. 

“Alright,” Eddie whispered, looking at the dashboard.

“Eds, I’m sorry it’s just-”

“You know what? No,” Eddie rounded on him. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, fine. I’m sorry I pushed. But you do NOT get to talk to me like that. Fuck you Richie. You think I’m still nosy? You still don’t know how to handle your emotions and be an actual person. I’m gonna walk the rest of the way. Good to fucking see you again, Rich. You’re still a prick.” Eddie slammed the door and started walking back to the hotel.

“Eds-fuck-Eddie!” Richie yelled, he hit his steering wheel, causing the horn to honk loudly. “Fuck!” 

____

No Eddie meant no Richie. So Richie took his already packed suitcase and snuck out of the hotel. He sped away from the Inn and ignored the guilt in his stomach. He drove through the town, trying to set up his GPS using only his voice.

“I-what? Don’t bring me through fucking Lewiston. Gross,” Richie muttered.

“Starting your route for Lewiston,” His GPS chimed.

“NO, FUCK FACE! I WANT TO GO THROUGH TOPSHAM!” Richie screamed, driving through Derry. Before he knew it, he found himself at the kissing bridge. He didn’t have to step out of his car to see the initials carved into the wood. 

R + E 

Neatly carved inside a heart. And before Richie could stop himself, he turned his car around and headed right for the Derry library. 

-•-

Richie saw a body standing over a helpless Mike, about to kill him. Henry Bitchass Bowers. He had to think fast. Richie saw an old fireman’s pickaxe in a display case. He reached inside, and quickly ran up to Bowers, striking him in the head as hard as he could. Mike winced as he looked up at Richie. 

“I guess you could say that was long overdue... you know because we’re in a-” Richie puked on the floor.

“Shit. I hit your shoe there let me get that-“ but Richie just threw up again, all over Mike’s shoes. Richie turned around when he heard Bev scream. She ran in with Ben and Eddie.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked.

“I just killed someone. No, I’m not okay!” Richie breathed.

“I was talking to Mike,” Ben said. When Ben moved, he saw Eddie. The gauze on his cheek, blood dried on his shirt, still covered in the same shit as an hour or so prior. 

“Holy shit, Eddie! Are you okay?” Richie crossed to Eddie. 

“I’m fine, Rich,” Eddie smiled. 

“Eds, I’m so sorry for everything earlier. I didn’t- I was just… there’s not really a good excuse for what I said to you. But I didn’t mean it. At all. I love how nosy you are!” Richie explained.

“I’m sorry too. You obviously didn’t want to talk about it, I shouldn’t have pushed,” Eddie apologized. Richie softly smiled at him. 

“Look at us. Talking out our feelings. Just a couple of dudes being dudes,” Richie sighed.

“Nevermind, I hate you again,” Eddie grinned back at him.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Richie offered.

“Me too. I don’t know what I would’ve done... if I couldn’t... say goodbye,” Eddie admitted.

“We have to go, tonight!” Bill announced, running into the library. “We have to finish this, once and for all,” All the Losers nodded in agreement. Except for Richie.

“Okay, you all fucking suck. Eddie just got stabbed in the fucking cheek, I just killed a guy. Mike was just nearly MURDERED. Can we please go back to the hotel, and maybe fucking sleep first? I mean come on man. I just killed  _ Bowers _ . I'm not ready to kill a clown right now. And Eddie is covered in whatever bullshit he’s covered in, and I know it’s eating him alive,” Richie said. 

“Richie-” Bev started.

“No! Don’t argue with me on this of all things. I’m not going to send Eddie and Mike down into that hell hole after everything that just happened two minutes ago. We go back to the hotel, we rest up, we will head there tomorrow and kill the clown. I’m not arguing with you on this,” Richie stated. 

“That was some top energy,” Ben whispered. Everyone chuckled. 

“Tomorrow,” Bill conceded.

-•-

“Can I get you anything? Ice pack? Water?” Richie asked. 

“Can you just calm down, you’re acting like my mother,” Eddie laughed.

“I promise, this isn’t how your mom acts with me,” Richie winked.

“My mom died eight years ago, Richie,” Eddie said, shutting Richie up. “Yeah-it was of natural causes. But she died. That was the year I married Myra too. I know she sucked and all but, she was my mom,” Eddie explained. Richie stayed silent. “You can say it.” 

“I fucked her to death,” Richie whispered. Eddie started laughing so hard he had to clutch his cheek where the cut was. “You’re adorable, Eds.” 

“Don’t call me Eds you asshole,” Eddie said through laughs. Suddenly, they were both clutching their sides in a fit of laughter. Eddie wheezed so hard he had to take out his inhaler, only making Richie laugh even harder. Somehow, Richie forgot they were going to kill an alien-clown tomorrow. He forgot that Eddie was married to Myra. All Richie knew was that if he could stay in that exact moment forever, the two of them laughing so hard they forgot what they were even laughing about in the first place, he could truly be happy. And like Eddie had read his mind, he said, “God, I wish it could be like this forever,” And without even knowing, Richie started to lean in towards Eddie. 

“It could be, Eds,” Richie’s hand found its way onto Eddie’s cheek. He made sure not to touch where the gauze was, not wanting to hurt Eddie. To his surprise, one of Eddie’s hands floated up, running through Richie’s hair. He gave Richie a small smile, and Richie realized that maybe Eddie could want this as much as he did. Richie took Eddie’s face in both his hands now. Their foreheads pressed together, Richie and Eddie both let out a soft chuckle. Richie looked up slightly, only to find Eddie staring right back at him. He ran his thumb across Eddie’s cheek gently before bringing his face in towards his own. Right before their lips touched, Eddie turned his head, pulling back. 

“We can’t,” He said standing up quickly from the bed. The room felt colder. 

“Why… why not?” Richie asked. Eddie stood at the end of the bed, looking devastated.

“Fuck. Because Richie. You’re not… you’re not safe. You’re mean, and-and you’re loud, you make crude jokes, and you’re a dick to me 90% of the time. And I have a wife, Rich, and I don’t love her at all. I  _ never _ fucking loved her! Not when I met her, not when I said my vows, not when we moved in together, never. Every day I regret marrying her, but… but she’s  _ safe _ , Rich. I know she’s gonna be there waiting for me after we kill It, and she takes care of me, she tells me the truth, she’s honest, and though I wake up every day and wish that she would just die in a fucking accident so I can maybe be free, I stay with her because she’s safe. And I… I’ve been trying to…  _ I can’t do this Richie! _ I fucking can’t. I-I can’t f-f-fucking do this. And- and-fuck! I sound like fucking Bill, but fuck, Richie icantdothisanymore. I- I- I can’t fucking fall in love with you  _ again  _ because… I don’t wanna get hurt. You hurt Rich. You have  _ no idea  _ how much you hurt.” 

The room was silent. Eddie took a puff out of his inhaler. Neither looked at each other in the eye. Richie took in every word that had left Eddie’s mouth, replaying them over and over, memorizing every word, until only one was highlighted in his brain.

“Again?” Richie whispered after what felt like an eternity. Eddie opened his mouth but immediately shut it. He finally looked Richie in the eye. His big brown eyes were brimmed with tears. 

“Again.” 

  
  



	4. The Night We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie laid next to Richie on his car. He could barely hear “I Will Always Love You” playing in the background. He watched Richie smile up at the stars. Eddie smiled at him. Tomorrow Eddie would leave to go to college all the way in New York, and Richie would head to LA to become a “star”. This was their final night until goodbye. ‘Tell him’ he thought to himself. ‘Before it’s too late!’ Richie finally looked down at Eddie and smiled back. Eddie took a deep breath before shifting so his head was lying on Richie’s pec.   
> “Hey, Richie?” Eddie’s voice shook with every word.   
> “Yeah?”  
> “Do you believe in soulmates? Or like Kismet?” Eddie asked.

…

_ Eddie laid next to Richie on his car. He could barely hear “I Will Always Love You” playing in the background. He watched Richie smile up at the stars. Eddie smiled at him. Tomorrow Eddie would leave to go to college all the way in New York, and Richie would head to LA to become a “star”. This was their final night until goodbye. ‘Tell him’ he thought to himself. ‘Before it’s too late!’ Richie finally looked down at Eddie and smiled back. Eddie took a deep breath before shifting so his head was lying on Richie’s pec.  _

_ “Hey, Richie?” Eddie’s voice shook with every word.  _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Do you believe in soulmates? Or like Kismet?” Eddie asked. Richie turned back to the stars. A slur of emotions had taken over his face. ‘Say yes,’ Eddie pleaded silently. ‘Say yes and I will book a one-way flight to LA and be leaving on the next plane out. Say yes and I will know that everyone who told me you are bad for me is wrong. Say yes and I’ll grab your face and kiss you because I need to know if you want this too. Say yes and it will be us, only us for the rest of our lives. Say you believe in soulmates and I’ll be yours forever because that is all it would take. Say you think the world has led me to you for a reason, and you love me just as much- maybe more than I love you if that’s even possible. We will all be dead one day so you might as well say yes and let me love you the way I’ve always longed to.  _

_ “I don’t know. Maybe, something like that Eds.”  _

...

“Eds-” Richie smiled, standing in front of their table at the Chinese restaurant.

“Don’t call me Eds you fucking asshole,” And for a second, Eddie started to believe in soulmates all over again. Eddie grinned at Richie. He should’ve looked away, they’d been staring at each other for far too long. But Eddie couldn’t bring himself to do it, scared he would forget Richie again. He couldn’t risk that. Eddie blushed when Mike finally broke the tension. All the Losers chatted around the table, cackling from Richie’s jokes. Eddie felt his feelings coming back with every word that left Richie’s mouth.  _ ‘I will not,” _ Eddie thought to himself. 

...

_ Eddie crept past the living room, where he thought his mother was sleeping.  _

_ “Where have you been?” His mom said calmly. _

_ “Just with Richie, Mommy,” Eddie said quietly. She rolled her eyes.  _

_ “That boy is no good, you know that, Edward.” Eddie hated it when his mom called him Edward.  _

_ “He’s really nice, Mommy,” Eddie defended.  _

_ “Don’t talk back to me. Richie Tozier is a scoundrel. I’ve seen him smoking with that slut. I don’t want to see you hanging around with him again,” His mom hissed. Eddie could feel his lip trembling.  _

_ “Yes Mommy, sorry Mommy,” Eddie said, running to his room. As soon as he shut the door, he started sobbing.  _

...

“My wife,” Eddie said, eyes glued on Richie. The smile plastered on Richie’s face was suddenly gone. 

“Really, you got married?” Richie asked. Eddie wrung his hands under the table, he didn’t dare to look Richie in the eye, scared he would see right through him. 

“Yeah, Rich, I did,” Eddie said, finally looking Richie in the eye. He could feel eyes burning through him. Richie’s jaw clenched slightly.

“What? To like a woman?” Richie dead-panned. A wave of relief fell over Eddie.

“Fuck you,” Eddie finally said.

…

_ “Hey, Kaspbrak!” A voice called from across the empty hallway. Eddie looked behind him to see Henry Bowers with his two friends backing him up. Eddie turned back around and started walking away quickly. Henry was in 8th grade, while Eddie was just in sixth-grade. “Don’t run from me you fairy!” Eddie could hear running footsteps behind him. He tried to run faster, but soon his lungs were burning and he was fumbling for his inhaler. He felt a tug on the back of his polo before he was on the ground. “Don’t fucking run from me next time,” Henry spat.  _

_ “Hey, Hulk Hogan called, he wants his mullet back!” Another voice said. Henry turned to see Richie Tozier. Eddie had always known of Richie. He had him in a few classes, but they never had really talked. There was always the occasional “Hey, Eds!” that Eddie would immediately protest, but other than that there was no real communication. Richie was the class clown. Constantly pulling pranks on other students and even the teachers sometimes. Eddie thought it was incredibly immature, yet almost funny. Richie’s best friend, Stanley Uris, always pretended to be against the pranks, but usually was the one encouraging Richie. It was known all throughout their grade, Richie Tozier was one of the “troubled” kids.  _

_ “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Henry scowled.  _

_ “A giant fucking forehead, I mean seriously man, I could land a plane on there,” Richie laughed. Eddie couldn’t help but smile.  _

_ “Scram, Kaspbrak. You’re lucky this dick is pissing me off,” Henry released Eddie, but Eddie stayed.  _

_ “This dick was in your mom last night,” Richie said.  _

_ “Shut up!” Henry screamed.  _

_ “What? Are you going to-” Henry punched Richie right across his face, breaking his glasses. Eddie, without thinking, kicked the behind of Henry’s knee, causing him to fall over. Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and pulled him outside. Once they were hidden from Henry Bowers, they sat down for a minute.  _

_ “Jesus Christ you’re bleeding everywhere,” Eddie quickly unzipped his fanny pack and took out the mini first-aid kit his mom insisted on him bringing everywhere.  _

_ “That’s what happens when you save the day, Eds,” Richie said. _

_ “Don’t call me Eds you asshole. And you- you didn’t have to do that. I had it handled,” Eddie said.  _

_ “You were pinned down by Henry Bowers huffing and puffing, you’re lucky I was there,” Richie said.  _

_ “I don’t care. We’re not friends, Richie,” Eddie said.  _

_ “You’re literally nursing my wounds!” Richie exclaimed.  _

_ “Yeah, I’m returning the favor.” They sat in silence until Eddie was finally done putting bandaids on Richie. “There, you’re done.”  _

_ “Thanks, Eds. You know, I bet we could be really good friends,” Richie said. Eddie just smiled at Richie.  _

_ “I doubt it.” Eddie would never be friends with Richie Tozier. _

_ … _

Eddie got under the covers next to Richie. 

“We had fun,” Richie whispered. They were way too close, their noses only inches away from each other. 

“Who are we kidding, we still do,” Eddie smiled. 

“Goodnight, Eds,” Richie muttered, turning around to shut off the light beside him. Too tired to protest the nickname, Eddie just hummed a simple ‘Goodnight.’ At some point during the night, he cuddled up next to Richie, his head lying on his chest, he hoped Richie didn’t notice. 

_ … _

_ “You know Richie Tozier?” Eddie asked his best friend, Bill. _

_ “Yeah, he’s pretty funny. Also annoying, but funny,” Bill said. “Why?” _

_ “He sorta helped me out with Henry Bowers the other day,” Eddie said.  _

_ “Is that why he has broken glasses? He’s telling everyone it’s from fighting a bear,” Bill laughed.  _

_ “I dunno, he said he wants to be my friend,” Eddie said. _

_ “He’s best friends with Stan, he’s pretty cool. Maybe we could be a group?” Bill suggested.  _

_ “Yeah, a group of Losers,” Eddie quipped. “Maybe.”  _

…

“Again?” Richie asked. Eddie tried to process all of the words that had just spilled out of him. He realized what he said. He took a puff from his inhaler before looking at Richie. 

“Again.” 

-.-

Eddie woke up in his room. It was still dark outside. He checked the time, 3 am. He heard a knock on his door. 

“Eddie, it’s time,” Bill said through the door.

“C-coming,” Eddie said. He got dressed quickly and rebandaged the hole in his cheek. He and Richie stepped outside of their doors at the same time. They said nothing to each other, just walked to the lobby. 

“L-let’s finish this,” Bill said, putting his hand in the middle.

“This High School Musical bullshit again?” Richie groaned. 

“Just put your fucking hand in, Rich,” Eddie said. Richie put his hand on top of Eddie’s before moving towards Bev’s hand.

“Sorry,” Richie whispered once the group started walking to their cars.

“We have bigger issues to worry about than our bullshit,” Eddie said. Eddie drove himself instead of riding with Richie. The drive was silent. Eddie was still exhausted from the night before. As soon as they entered Neibolt, everything went by in a flash. He could barely remember Richie being tackled by Spider Stanley, he couldn’t remember going down into Pennywise’s lair, and he couldn’t remember him onshore, as all of his friends dived underwater, looking for Beverley. Yet somehow, there he stood with Richie, three doors staring back at them. They opened the door labeled “Not scary at all” and stared at the empty closet. 

“Cool,” Richie said. Then Betty Ripson’s legs started running towards them.

“FUCK THAT!” Eddie yelled, slamming the door. 

“Okay! Very Scary it is!” Richie swung the door open, only to see the pomeranian he had joked about before. It was actually adorable for a few minutes before it turned into a hell-hound. They slammed the door again before Richie ran into a clearing, while Eddie hid behind a large rock. Pennywise was attacking Mike. Richie grabbed a rock. 

“Hey Fuckface!” Richie yelled. Pennywise looked back at Richie. “You wanna play truth or dare? Here’s a truth! You’re a sloppy bitch! Yippee Kiyay mother fu–” Richie went lifeless, his eyes rolled back in his head so you could only see the whites. Eddie saw the deadlights swirling, trapping Richie, who was now suspended in the air. Eddie saw the spear from the fence that Bev gave him.  _ “This kills monsters if you believe it does.”  _

“This kills monsters,” Eddie whispered. “If you believe it does…” Eddie fixed his headlamp. “If you believe it does…” He lined up his shot, straight into Pennywise’s throat. “If you… believe… it does!” He looked at Richie, he was braver than he thought. “BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!” Eddie launched the spear straight into Pennywise’s throat. He started to flail around, dropping Richie in the process. Eddie sprinted to where Richie landed. 

“Richie! Richie! Come on wake up!” Eddie slapped Richie across the face. With a gasp, Richie awoke. “There he is! Richie, I-I think I killed It!” Eddie looked back at Pennywise, who looked like he was dying. “I think I did it! Holy fuck Richie! I think I actually-” Eddie felt a pierce go straight through his chest, followed by blood soaking through his shirt. He looked down to see one of Pennywise’s limbs through his chest. He was suddenly aware of the pain starting to take over all of his senses. “Richie?” Eddie felt his body be torn away from Richie, sending him flying across the room, into a small cave. He laid there motionless, still in shock. The pain was worse now that the limb had left his body, he also knew this meant that he was losing blood, fast. Before he knew it, the rest of the Losers were all huddled around him.

“Eddie!” Bev cried. He finally looked down to see the hole right in the middle of his chest that was gushing blood. Mike and Bill helped him sit up.

“Careful, Careful!” Richie yelled, taking off his jacket. He pressed his jacket onto Eddie's wound, which made Eddie wince. “Sorry, but this is going to stop your bleeding,” Eddie’s ears were ringing, He could barely make out Richie hoovering over him, jacket still pressed to his chest.

“That’s how we can defeat It,” Bev whispered. 

“Well, we can’t just leave Eddie here,” Richie said. There were some more muffled sounds that Eddie assumed were plans from the other Losers. Before he knew it, Eddie’s arms were wrapped around Bill and Mike who were carrying him behind a boulder. They sat him down there and told him to keep the jacket pressed to him. 

“Richie? I need to tell you something,” Eddie whispered. 

“What? Eds, what is it?” Richie asked. Eddie didn’t really know what he wanted to say, he just knew he needed to say something. 

“I-” Richie put his hand on Eddie’s cheek. 

“What is it?” 

“I fucked your mom,” Eddie whispered. Richie chuckled, Eddie could see tears brimmed in his eyes.

Eddie could feel himself getting weaker, the blood still draining from him. Eddie, who had considered a million different ways he could die, never imagined dying like this. But he knew, he knew there was no way he could make it. Richie still sat with him, screaming insults at Pennywise. 

“YOUR MOM NEVER LOVED YOU!” Richie screamed.

“Call him a cunt,” Eddie whispered.

“And Eddie says you’re a fucking cunt!” Pennywise started to shrink. Eddie was going to die, he was going to die and Richie would have to watch. 

“Go, go help them. I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie lied. 

“What the fuck-I’m  _ not  _ leaving you, Eds,” Richie said.

“Richie, don’t call me fucking Eds. Go kill that motherfucking clown,” Eddie demanded. Richie looked back at the rest of the Losers. 

“Fine. I’ll be right back, I promise,” Richie said. Eddie watched as Richie joined the other Losers.

“N-N-Nobody wants to fucking p-p-play with you!” 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t braver, Bill. I’m sorry that I was always the last one to jump into trouble. I’m sorry that you had to listen to me bitch for ten-fucking- years. I didn’t deserve a best friend like you,” Eddie whispered. 

“A fatass!” Ben yelled. 

“You were the best of us, Ben. As sadistic as it sounds, I’m happy Henry chased you to the barrens, I’m happy I got to take care of you, even if Bev did have to flirt with the pharmacist for us to save you. I’m sorry you were bullied, and we didn’t talk to you sooner.” 

“You’re just a wrinkly old lady!” 

“God, Bev. I wish I could be more like you. You’re the bravest out of all of us, no matter how much you say you’re not. You are the most selfless person I’ve ever met. Thank you for making me believe I could kill a monster like Pennywise, even if it didn’t work out that well.” 

“A God Damn CLOWN!” Mike yelled.

“Thank you for staying, Mike. Even though you wanted to get out of here more than any of us. Thank you for dragging me back to this fucking hell hole. Even though I’m definitely dying right now, it was so fucking worth it.”

“STAN THINKS YOU’RE A FUCKING PUSSY TOO!”

“Please stay alive, Stan. Richie needs you. You were always our voice of reason, and you were- are one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Thank you for dealing with all of our bickering, and for staying with us even when we were the most annoying people in the world.”

“YOUR MOM!” 

“And Richie. I wish..." Eddie felt the tears forming at his eyes. "I wish we had more time.” 

“Look at all of you, all grown up,” Pennywise said.

“I love you guys.” Tears began streaming down his face.

“We did it.” 

“Goodbye.” 

-.-

“We can’t just leave him down here, guys!” Richie screamed.

“Richie, he’s dead,” Bev whispered. Bill tried to pull Richie away, but Richie shrugged him off.

“I am not leaving him down here!”

“Guys… we gotta go!” Mike yelled.

“Richie!” Ben yelled.

“Ben, you’re fucking ripped. We can save him!” 

“Rich, we gotta go, now!” Bill said.

“Then fucking go. I’m not leaving without him,” Richie demanded. All the Losers looked at each other, paralyzed. “FUCKING GO!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you guys know, this fanfiction is completely finished. We'll be uploading the second chapter soon. Thank you for reading, comment your thoughts we'd love to hear them! ~Annie and Noelle


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